Prank War
by BlatantBookworm
Summary: AU, Two Shot. In hindsight, Superman and Flash should have realised that repeatedly pranking Batman was going to backfire on them. Badly. But, Dark Knight or not, Batman was still a teenager, and he needed to act like one every once in a while like the rest of them.
1. Chapter 1

_**Prank War**_

**So, where did this idea come from, you may ask? Well, that is an excellent question. Believe it or not, the inspiration was from the phrase 'Junior Justice League'. My reasoning was something along the lines of 'Junior Justice League… the actual Justice League in miniature… doing teenage stuff with powers… teenage Batman would be serious… he should be made to act like a teenager'. Okay, my reasoning actually went on multiple tangents but that's the conclusion I reached. **

**Are they (in particular, Superman and Flash) acting OOC? Possibly, but remember that this _is_ a parallel dimension. Becoming a teenager means more than just having to go to school. **

**Another fact for this extremely long AN is that the team barely turns up. Robin's in this chapter, and two other Young Justice members show up next chapter, but it's mainly going around the actual Junior Justice League. It's staying in the YJ verse because that's what inspired me, plus Young Justice members _do_ turn up, and finally because I'm a lot more comfortable writing in this fandom.**

**Disclaimer: I own this mildly insane idea. Not so much with the characters I made act out said idea.**

* * *

"Could you act your age, for once?" Batman folded his arms and glowered.

Superman grinned sheepishly. "He started it!"

"I did not!" Flash protested, taking his cowl off and picking confetti out of it. "Eew. How did you get a _worm_ into my mask?" He winced, pulling the bug out.

"Trade secret." Superman smirked.

Batman gave them both bat-glares.

"Yeah, yeah." Superman waved it aside, trying not to wince from the glare. "We're idiots. We get it, Bruce."

"_Don't_." Batman hissed, turning his glower up.

"Okay, okay." Superman flinched, actually taking a step back.

"It wouldn't hurt for you to act _your_ age for once, you know." Barry shrugged, pulling his de-confettied mask back on. "Dark Knight or not, you're still sixteen. Give or take. When _is_ your birthday, anyway?"

"Just _stop_ the prank war. Or I'm stopping it for you." Batman snarled, spinning on his heel and walking out of the Monitor Womb.

Superman and the Flash glanced at each other.

"You're not going to stop it are you?" Wonder Woman asked, rolling her eyes as she inspected the monitors.

"Not just yet." Flash agreed.

"Well, just as long as you don't try and get Batman into it. That would end badly." Diana commented.

A morbid feeling made her look back up from the computer screen.

"You're not seriously thinking of…" The Amazonian princess began.

"I'm sure we could." Flash said slowly. "If we keep hitting him with pranks, he'll eventually have to-"

"Return in kind." Superman said with a smile. "And it would really be good for him to actually _act_ like a teenager once in a while."

"A teenager who can best any ninja master and dresses like a bat." Flash pointed out.

"My point still stands." Superman shrugged. He grinned at the teen in red. "Truce for now?"

"Truce for now." Flash agreed.

The Scarlet Speedster and the Man of Steel vanished.

Wonder Woman paused. "You know," She said aloud to the empty room. "I know I should stop this. But they need to learn their lesson."

_Besides, if they actually go through with this, it is definitely going to be entertaining._

_**X**_

"Hey Bruce." Dick looked up from the worksheet with a grin as the boy he considered to be his brother walked into the common room.

"Hi Dick." Bruce said, fixing up his shirt that he had just pulled on. "Homework?"

Dick smirked. "I can finish off _your_ algebra. 'One apple plus two bananas equals three pieces of fruit' isn't hard for the Boy Wonder. And a banana isn't even a fruit. It's a herb."

Bruce shrugged agreement. "Okay. What are you working on then?"

The six year old shrugged. "Riddler left a new puzzle. _I never move but am right twice daily._"

"Stopped clock." Bruce said absently, wondering what it meant. Was it connected to another riddle of Nygma's, or was he teaming up with the Clock King or another time-themed villain… an anagram, maybe?

"Weren't you going over to Mount Justice, anyway?" Bruce asked. "Something about a movie night that Wally wanted to organise?"

"Conner broke the TV by accident." Dick shrugged. "We decided to put it off for a few days."

"Okay." Bruce nodded. He paused. "Can you hear that?"

Dick slowly put down his pencil. "Have we got a flood in here?"

"I think so…" Bruce's eyes narrowed as he tensed.

In a split second the Dynamic Duo had leapt to their feet, climbing the walls as a tsunami of rice exploded from the kitchen.

"Were you cooking again?!" Dick shrieked from his vantage point on the reinforced ceiling fan (how had the acrobat gotten up there, anyway?).

"No!" Bruce assured him, staying up on the shelf.

The rice stopped, about halfway up the walls.

"Now I would like to know why the house is half full of rice." Bruce said cautiously, reaching down to scoop some up from his vantage point.

"I suppose you could say it's half empty of rice."

Bruce gave the six year old a look.

"What? Just saying." Dick jumped off from the fan and landed in the rice.

He sunk straight down, his black hair just barely poking out from the top of the hole.

"Dick?" Bruce asked, ready to jump in after him. "Are you…"

"M'fine." Dick said in a muffled voice.

A grabbling hook shot from the hole and the Boy Wonder pulled himself up.

Bruce jumped down. His chest was above the rice pile.

"So… this is a little disconcerting. Heavy on the dis." Dick commented, letting go of his grappling hook. Bruce caught him easily.

"Yeah." Bruce said, wondering when Dick learnt the meaning of the word 'disconcerting'. And a lot of other things besides, not the least of which was the piece of material floating on the rice with familiar symbols.

The door was shoved open. Alfred looked in at the strange sight.

"Master Bruce, you were not attempting to cook again, were you?"

"_**No**_."

_**X**_

"What is this?" Batman hissed.

Flash looked up at the piece of material Batman had shoved in his face.

"Well, I'm no expert, but it looks like a bit of material with the Flash symbol and the S-Shield on it."

"What was it doing in my house?"

"Um… new project Robin's doing?" Flash suggested.

"Involving a tsunami of rice? What _exactly_ do Grade One students study in Central?" Batman growled. "_What the hell did you do?_"

"Why are you yelling at me?"

"Because Clark's still in Metropolis."

"And you're _certain_ that it was us?" Flash couldn't stop a smile from crossing his face.

"Sometimes detective work is hard." Batman glowered. "This was not one of those times. You left a _calling card_."

Flash shrugged, unable to keep denying it.

"_Don't do it again._" Batman warned.

Flash's smirk was far from reassuring.

_**X**_

"School!" Alfred rapped on the door.

Bruce groaned, curling up in his bed.

The English butler walked into the room. Bruce had curled up under his blanket. "Five more minutes." The Dark Knight groaned.

"If you did not insist upon these night time escapades…" Alfred pointed out.

"I know, I know, I wouldn't be sleepy, I've heard it all before." Bruce groaned and got up.

Alfred's eyes widened.

"What? Bruises?" Bruce felt his face.

"Umm… perhaps you might wish to see this yourself." Alfred pointed towards the bathroom.

With a sense of dread Bruce raced to the bathroom.

"Oh boy." He groaned. "I'm going to be late getting rid of this, aren't I?"

"Possibly, although considering the way you like to drive…" Alfred gave him a pointed look.

Bruce ignored his father figure, grabbing a face-cloth and trying to rub the giant bat that someone had painted over his face.

_How did they do this without waking me up?_ Bruce wondered, ashamed of himself.

And feeling slightly homicidal as he saw that a signature had been placed on the corner of his chin. An 'S' in a shield and a lightning bolt.

_**X**_

"So what are you here for?" The other person in detention asked with a smirk, glancing over at the teacher quietly marking papers.

Bruce glanced up from the book he was reading. "I was late. You?"

"Same. Mr. White's really strict, isn't he?" The girl groaned.

"I'll have to agree with you there, Alexandria."

"How did you know my-"

"I make it a point to know the names of pretty women." Bruce smiled warmly at her.

"So, what? You memorised the names of every girl in the school?" Alexandria asked, almost impressed.

Bruce smiled and shrugged. "Well, that, and you have a key-ring with your name on it hanging from your bag."

"Oh. Right." Alexandria blushed.

Bruce gave her his most charming smile, which only made Alexandria flush brighter.

"So… what were you late for?" Alexandria asked, fishing around for something to say.

"School?" Bruce offered, raising an eyebrow slightly.

Alexandria flushed deeply again. "I – no – I meant _why_ were you late for…"

"Oh." Bruce nodded with a smile. "Well, some kids I know decided to prank me, apparently." His expression became darker, slightly sadistic. "They're definitely going to regret it."

Just as quickly, Bruce flipped back to light-hearted playboy. "So, what about you?"

"Oh… I overslept." Alexandria admitted. "My alarm was broken and…"

"The same old story, huh?" Bruce asked with a grin.

"Walking cliché." Alexandria grinned back at him.

"Perhaps you two should be working on some homework?" Ms. Winters glanced up from the paper she was marking.

Bruce smirked, opening up his bag to take out a book.

He didn't expect an explosion to rocket out.

Alexandria let out a huge scream, falling backwards.

Bruce didn't waste time being startled. He kicked the bag away from him, jumping to his feet and scanning the area for threats, his light-hearted mask vanishing.

Ms. Winters had jumped backwards, her chair clattering around her. "What on earth…"

Bruce scanned the bag, registering as he did so that he'd been covered in whatever substance had exploded out of there.

Mud and wet leaves.

Bruce allowed himself to relax slightly, brushing mud out of his eyes.

"It's just dirt." Bruce told the petrified teenage girl.

"Oh." Alexandria flushed, plucking off a few pieces that had attached herself to her clothes. She gave a slight laugh to try and release herself of the tension. "That was scary."

"Yeah, terrifying." Bruce muttered.

"Mr. Wayne, what on earth was that doing in your school bag?" Ms. Winters demanded, looking at the mess around it.

"I've got a suspicion." Bruce growled. He walked over to his bag and ruffled through it, careful just in case there were any more booby traps.

He pulled out a piece of material, still clean. It was signed 'Barry and Clark'.

"They didn't." Bruce growled.

At least they'd thought ahead enough not to try with their insignias while going after Bruce Wayne as opposed to Batman. Bruce did not relish the thought of having to explain why the symbols of two Justice League members were the calling cards of two pranksters.

"Who didn't?" Alexandria asked, getting back to her feet.

"Remember those kids who I said pranked me this morning?"

"Yes…"

"This is them." Bruce growled.

Batman was _not_ amused.

Bruce shoved his filthy stuff into his bag and stalked out.

"Wait, you can't-" Ms. Winters began. Bruce ignored her, slamming the door behind him.

_**X**_

Someone knocked on the door.

"Yes?" Mr. James opened the door.

His eyes widened when he registered the boy standing there was dripping mud and water.

"Is Clark Kent here?" The boy asked, trying hard to be civil as he pushed dripping hair to the side.

"Oh… um, yes." Mr. James stepped back. "Kent? There's someone here for you."

Clark looked up from his maths and put his pencil down. The mild-mannered teen walked over. "Yes, Mr. James?"

He looked at the boy glowering at him, dripping mud.

"Oh. Hi." Clark grinned.

Bruce's glower turned up another notch.

Clark was truly thankful Bruce didn't have powers. He'd hate to see what the addition of laser-vision would do to the already-very-potent Bat-Glare.

"Can I borrow him for a second?" Bruce growled out.

Mr. James paused. "Well, I suppose so." He admitted. "If that's alright with you, Kent?"

"Um, sure." Clark answered hesitantly. He was honestly a little afraid of the consequences if he said no.

"Great." Bruce grabbed the alien boy by the arm and dragged him down the corridor, dragging him into the empty classroom at the end of the corridor.

"The hell do you and Flash think you're doing?" Bruce hissed, lifting Clark up by the shirt and slamming him against the wall. Clark's glasses fell off.

_I'm invulnerable… he can't hurt me_. Clark had to reassure himself. "You're going to be more specific, Bruce."

"You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about, Clark." Bruce growled, mud still dripping down him. "I thought I told you two to stop your prank war. _Not_ to drag me into it!"

"And you're certain it was us?"

Bruce let out a growl.

Clark nodded, gently reaching for the hand around his shirt. "Okay, fine. You're the Worlds' Greatest Detective and all." He pried Bruce's fingers off and gently dropped down to the ground.

"Both of you need to _grow up_." Bruce hissed, looking positively murderous.

_Invulnerable. Invulnerable. Invulnerable. I am invulnerable. _

…_He wouldn't have brought Kryptonite with him, would he? He does have some in the Bat-Cave… if he went back, he'd have showered and gotten rid of the mud first. Relax. __**Invulnerable**_**, **_remember?_

"Okay. Okay." Clark said with a reassuring smile.

Invulnerable or not, he was not risking any smart comments at this point.

"Now, why don't you go back to Gotham and get off all that mud?" Clark suggested, pushing his friend away.

Bruce growled again but left.

Clark carefully picked up his glasses again with a smirk.

Now that he was no longer being threatened by a homicidal Batman, Clark could still think that Barry was right. Bruce needed to learn how to grow down a little and take a joke.

Although, he might need to warn Barry that an enraged bat might be paying him a visit soon…

_**X**_

"Gordon." Batman nodded at him.

"Hi." Robin smiled, waving from the top of the door he was sitting on.

The police deputy smiled back and nodded.

"You called?" Batman glanced at the giant light.

"We had a tip-off." Gordon said. "If it's legit, Two-Face is currently staying on 83, Melaleuca St."

"83? Not his style." Batman frowned thoughtfully.

"And 'Melaleuca' is a type of plant, right?" Robin commented, looking down on the two others from his higher vantage point. "Seems more Poison Ivy than Two-Face."

"That's what I thought." Gordon agreed with the two vigilantes. "But, looking it over, apparently the house itself does have an unusual amount of doubles. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, two kitchens, two common rooms… and also, a neighbour reported hearing gun-shots from inside."

Batman nodded. "Then there might be a chance it's real."

"It's worth checking out." Robin agreed. "Worst case scenario, he's not there. No harm, no foul."

Gordon nodded.

A red blur shot past, dropping a bucket onto Batman's head. Green slime soaked him.

All three Gothamites started. Robin jumped to his feet on the roof of the door he was on.

Slowly, Batman took the bucket off his head, a little stunned.

Green slime had poured down over him, drenching the Dark Knight. His cowl's ears had bent under the pressure.

Batman himself looked tense, like he was trying to control his temper. His fingers had curled into fists.

"Um… Batman?" Gordon asked cautiously. "Are you…?"

"I'm fine." Batman growled, wiping slime off him. He glowered at the air. "But Flash is _not_."

"Come on Bats. Can't you take a joke?" In an instant the Scarlet Speedster was leaning against the Bat-signal.

Gordon didn't react. The twenty-nine year old had long since learnt not to be surprised when heroes suddenly appeared. Of course, the heroes he was used to appeared with ninja abilities as opposed to super-speed, but the principal still stood.

"Flash." Batman growled.

He was very conscious of the fact that his adoptive brother was trying hard to keep giggles from coming out.

"In the flesh." Barry grinned. "Come on Bats. You've gotta admit. _This_ is funny."

Batman gave him a glower. "No. It's not."

"Am I missing something?" Gordon muttered up to Robin.

"Flash and Superman were having a prank war." Robin murmured back, leaning over to speak softly. "Batman got sick of it. They ganged up on him, starting about four days ago."

"…_Why?_"

"I have no idea." Robin said sincerely.

"Trust me. It's hilarious." Flash grinned. "And sides, you needed a new colour other than black. Green looks good with it."

"Mm-hmm." Another voice agreed.

Batman, Robin and Gordon looked around to see Superman floating next to the roof. "You really should stop with all the darkness. For one, you'll ruin your eyes."

"You _cannot_ pull the Boy Scout routine on me after this." Batman hissed.

"Trust me. The green looks great." Clark smirked.

"I know _another_ green that would look great around your neck." Bruce growled, his gloved fingers curling into a fist.

"Touchy, touchy." Flash grinned.

The speedster had to shoot out of the way to avoid a batarang, aimed straight for the neck.

Batman looked absolutely livid as he stalked towards him. Without looking, another batarang slashed through the air, heading straight for the Man of Steel.

It bounced off. "Okay, you really are ticked off if you're forgetting invulnerability." Superman commented.

"I'm hoping he hasn't actually forgotten that," Robin said calmly, swinging his feet as he sat on the wall. "Because if he has, he's aiming to kill."

"Well, _I'm_ not invulnerable!" Flash protested, shooting to the side of another batarang. "I'm outta here!"

In a split second a red blur shot along the road below.

Batman glowered after him, and then gave a Bat-Glare towards Superman.

"You _really_ need to learn to take a joke." Superman commented, catching another batarang from mid-air.

He dropped it quickly, just in case it was electric or would explode.

"_You_ need to grow up." Batman snarled.

"I'm perfectly capable of acting sensible when we really need to." Clark shrugged. "But you don't seem to have the physical ability to act like an actual teenager every now and again."

Robin rolled his eyes behind his mask, thinking of multiple parties and girlfriends and many, many broken curfews. It might have been a cover, but Bruce was perfectly capable of acting like a teenager.

Batman glowered, reaching for his utility belt.

He pulled out a button and pressed it.

Nothing obvious happened. Not until Superman let out a shriek, covering his ears. He dropped several feet before catching himself.

"Batman!" Superman protested. "_Ow_."

Batman smirked slightly as he looked at the machine letting out the high-pitched whistle.

"_**Why**_ do you carry one of those?" The Man of Steel demanded.

Well, it was supposed to be a demand. It came out as a cross between a demand and a whimper. The fact he had almost curled into a floating ball in an attempt to cover his ears didn't help.

Batman raised an eyebrow, smirking again despite the slime that was slowly drying on him.

"Don't you have a cat to rescue from a tree in Metropolis?" Batman asked him.

"The Bat-to-English translation is 'go home or I'll keep the sound up'." Robin offered, lithely jumping off the door.

Superman didn't want to run away. But this was a tactic he'd been using a lot more recently.

Faster than a speeding bullet, the Man of Steel shot off.

Batman smirked, then calmly turned to Robin. "Investigate the house." He ordered. "If it is Two-Face, _do not engage_. I will be there shortly." He plucked at a lump of goo. "I need to get rid of this." The Dark Knight muttered.

Robin successfully managed to hide his smile as he nodded. "Sure thing, Batman." He leaped off the roof, catching sky-scrapers with his grappling hook. Batman jumped off after him.

Gordon paused, and then turned the bat-symbol off, walking back downstairs, deciding that no, he did not want to know any more than he already knew.

_**X**_

Dick hummed lightly to himself as he slipped down the stairs, heading for the bat-cave.

He froze, stunned. Then the Boy Wonder spun on his heel and raced up again.

"Bruce!"

Bruce dropped the file he was working on in an instant. "Dick? What is it?" He leaped forwards.

"I – Joker – Bat-Cave – paint…" Dick blurted out.

Bruce's eyes widened. "_What?_"

"I think the Joker managed to break into the Bat-Cave!" Dick managed.

Bruce froze, his brain going over all possible solutions to that. "Why?"

"It's yellow."

"…what?"

"The Bat-Cave has been painted bright yellow. And I think I saw the Bat-Mobile being that really vivid shade of purple Joker likes…" Dick trailed off. "Who else would do it?"

Bruce nodded once, reaching for his utility belt. He slipped it around his waist and pulled out a cowl he kept just in case.

"Stay here." Batman ordered.

Dick nodded agreement, watching as his older brother raced off.

Batman lightly landed in the Bat-Cave. As Dick had said, it was indeed vivid yellow with streaks of orange.

That was going to make it harder for him to disappear into the shadows. Still, the Dark Knight vanished, slowly looking around for any booby-traps and pushing aside all questions that needed to be answered later.

Batman scanned the Bat-Cave. Joker didn't seem to be there, but Batman had long since learned not to take chances with the crazy crime clown.

The paint was drying. Batman estimated it had been there for at least four hours, while he was in school.

Joker wouldn't be able to wait that long, though, would he? The teenage maniac was too impatient. There were plenty of things that would amuse him in the Cave, certainly, but nothing that would not be instantly recognisable as being used. So he wasn't here now.

And if Joker got into the Bat-Cave, wouldn't there have been an explosion? It wasn't even messed up.

Batman's eyes narrowed as he registered that. The only part of the Bat-Cave out of place was that it was yellow. Nothing else. Joker wouldn't have been able to restrain himself.

But who else would-

Batman froze. They _wouldn't_…

The Dark Knight paused, and then looked at the roof.

Painted in dark green on the top of the cave was a Flash symbol and the S-Shield.

Bruce swore, taking his cowl off. "You can come down, Robin." He muttered into the communicator.

Dick was down in an instant. He must have been waiting for the okay. "Was it Joker? How did he get in? Why wasn't there-"

Bruce pointed at the ceiling.

The Boy Wonder paused, registering what must have happened. "_Why_?"

"I have no idea." Bruce growled. "But they are definitely going to regret it."

He glanced around the yellow cave.

The Bat-Mobile had been turned bright purple. The Bat-Suit had been painted pink, with sparkles thrown over them.

"Dick, can you do me a favour?"

"Sure thing Bruce." Dick agreed instantly. "What?"

"Can you go to a hardware store and pick up some paint remover? I've got _something else_ I need to work on." Bruce growled.

Dick grinned. "Sure thing. Do you want me to grab a camera or something while I'm out?"

Bruce managed a slight smile at his protégé. "See if you can find any lead pipes, preferably hollow."

Dick grinned. He wasn't sure exactly where his mentor/adoptive brother was going with this, but he knew any revenge done by the Batman himself was going to be spectacular. Or possibly very painful. "Okey-dokey, Batman!" Dick grinned, taking the stairs two at a time.

Bruce glowered at the offending symbols above him, then at the yellow walls.

Forget being the mature one and not sinking to their level. This warranted _revenge_.

* * *

**Okay, in reality, both Clark and Flash would probably realise that it would backfire horribly. Again, my reasoning is that they're teenagers in my fic, and teenagers do stupid things.**

**The second chapter will be posted in a few days. **

**Until then, reviews, anyone? Please?**


	2. Chapter 2

**And here's the second chapter! *sigh* It might not be what Batman would _actually_ do, but only the Dark Knight himself could come up with the actual punishment deemed worthy. So I had to give them my idea. Plus, it seemed funny.**

**Disclaimer: Just like last chapter, I do not own these characters.**

* * *

Clark groaned, slowly opening his eyes.

"Um… where am I?" He glanced around.

He was strapped tightly to a flag pole that had to be at least three storeys in the air.

He glanced down at himself. He was wearing… what looked to be like Conner's clothes in his size. Jeans and a black t-shirt with the red S-Shield on it. His glasses were missing and his hair was in its traditional spitcurl. The bars holding him prisoner seemed like lead.

"Mmm…"

Clark glanced around. He managed to see a flash of blonde hair and a bright red t-shirt. Barry?

"Wake up."

"Huh?" Barry's eyes opened.

He jolted. "Yah!"

"Yep."

"We're above ground. Why are we above ground?"

"You're afraid of heights?"

"Only if I'm strapped to a pole with Superman on the other side – wait, what are you doing here?"

"Same thing as you, I'd imagine." Clark rolled his eyes. "Calm down, Barry."

"And what if we fall?"

"Um… how do I say this without sounding clichéd and how people always expect me to sound? _I'm Superman_. Not gonna fall."

"Oh. Right." Barry calmed down. "Can you get us out of here?"

"Sure." Clark calmly reached for the lead wrapped around his chest. He bent it.

A wave of nausea swept through him.

"Ohhh…" He groaned.

"Clark? You okay?"

Clark gritted his teeth.

_Kryptonite. Why is it always Kryptonite?_

…_Because otherwise it would be way too easy, I suppose._

With a groan, he moved the lead slightly, back to its original position.

The nausea stopped.

"Well, minor issue." Clark groaned.

"Kryptonite?"

"Yep." Clark sighed. "I'm going with these lead pipes are hollow. If I bend one even slightly, a crack will appear and the Kryptonite will come out."

"At which point, since I can't fly either, both of us will crash to the ground."

"Yep."

"Goodie. What happened here?"

"Well…" Clark said slowly. "If I'm right, this is good news bad news."

"Let's start with the good news."

"Good news is, we managed to get Bruce to do a prank."

"And the bad news is, we managed to get Batman do a prank." Barry agreed, looking down at the ground. He was wearing a Flash t-shirt, jeans and his mask.

"In hindsight, we should have known this was going to backfire." The Kryptonian muttered.

"We should've." Barry agreed. "So, are we in Central or Metropolis?"

"No idea."

"Is Bruce overreacting?"

"Maybe a little." Clark shrugged.

"I mean, all we did was paint the bat-suit pink… and the Bat-mobile purple… and redecorated the Bat-Cave yellow… and we're getting off easy, aren't we?" Barry realised.

"Either that or this is only part one." Clark muttered.

A car caught Clark's attention before he answered. "Someone's coming." He said slowly as the car stopped.

A black haired teenage girl got out, looking up at the two trapped heroes on a flag pole.

"_Superman?_" Lois Lane asked in shock.

Clark hung his head. "Part two. Right on cue."

_**X**_

"Who is it?" Flash asked.

Oh, right. Clark forgot the speedster couldn't see what he could, what with super-senses, different directions and the fact Clark found it a lot easier to recognise her.

"Lois." He muttered, reassured in the fact that the reporter couldn't hear him unless he called.

"_Lane?_"

"Yep."

"Wait, not only have you got your girlfriend here, she's a journalist?" Barry groaned.

"As opposed to Iris?" Clark hissed. "And she is _not_ my girlfriend."

"I'm not saying that being a journalist is bad. It's just that I don't want anyone connected to the media in any way at all here." Barry hissed back, struggling against the bonds.

He _could_ vibrate through… but then he'd fall on his face. And fractured bones were far from appealing.

"Hello?" Lois called out. Her voice carried up, easily distinguishable even by human ears.

Clark's head hung.

"Do we have to call back?" Barry groaned.

"The alternative is to stay here." Clark sighed.

"Until Bruce comes to get us. How long would that be?"

Clark would have given him a look if he could see the boy tied to the other side.

"Forever, right?"

"Pretty much." Clark groaned. "Lois?" He called out.

"_Superman?_"

"Yeah." Clark admitted, his voice travelling. "And yes, it _is_ Flash up here with me."

"But… what?"

"Long story." Superman groaned. That was an understatement. "Can you get us down?"

"Can't you?"

"Let's just say the person who pulled off this particular trap is well known for thinking of everything." Barry said, vibrating from restlessness.

Lois walked around the pole, looking up at the trapped heroes.

"What do you want me to do?" The teenage reporter called. "Call the Fire Department?"

"_No._" They both blurted at the same time.

Well, at least they knew why Bruce made sure they were recognisable as heroes. To maximise embarrassment.

After all, Clark Kent and Barry Allen getting rescued by the fire department? Only the Justice League and a few others here and there knew why that would be so embarrassing. Superman and Flash getting rescued might become a national story. International, even.

Then again, they _had_ painted the Bat Cave yellow.

"Well, what do you want me to do? I can't climb up…" Lois said. Her voice trailed off as an idea seemed to form. "Can I?"

"Lois, if you fall, I won't be able to catch you." Clark groaned. "And based on past experience, you _would_ fall."

Lois sent him a glare that might have scared someone who didn't hang out with Batman.

"Well, what do you want me to do? Steal a cherry picker?" She paused thoughtfully.

Clark would have face-palmed if his arms were strapped to a pole with lead and kryptonite. "No stealing."

"You're not leaving me with a whole lot of options, you know." Lois said. "Who did you tick off? Doesn't seem like Lex Luthor's style…"

"They ticked off Batman." The nine year old boy piped up.

Lois, Clark and Barry looked around to see a nine year old red-head, dressed in yellow.

"Part three, here we are." Clark sighed.

"Oh, hi." Lois said, adjusting quickly. "Flash Kid, right?"

"Kid Flash!" Kid Flash pouted.

"Okay, kid." Lois said with a grin. "Whatcha doing here?"

"Good question." Barry muttered.

"Robin told me about this." Kid Flash grinned. "Superboy's coming."

A black dot jumped above the sky-line, right on cue. Conner landed nearby, crashing down behind them. He walked in, grinning.

"What?" Barry groaned. "Is the whole team coming? How about the League?"

"Nup." Superboy shook his head, trying hard to keep the smile away from his face. "Just us."

Sure, he loved his older brother – genetic donor, whatever – and didn't want to risk Superman to stop talking to him again. But the fact remained that this was really funny.

"Do you know how to get them down?" Lois asked.

The ten year old Kryptonian (okay… a little under a year old) shook his head. "Robin said that there's Kryptonite, so if I break the bonds both me and Superman would fall… and Flash too. And Kid Flash can't run up and break them out because… well, he can't."

"Wait, you said that they ticked off Batman." Lois shook her head. "How? _Why?_"

"They painted the Bat-Cave yellow." Kid Flash added. "And turned the Bat-Mobile pink and made his suit purple."

"Other way around." Barry corrected, dangling his feet from high above. "We made the Bat-Mobile purple."

"Whatever." Wally shrugged up at his cousin, grinning impishly. "Either was really stupid."

"We know." Barry groaned.

"Do you want us to call the Fire Department or the League?" Conner asked.

Neither option was particularly appealing… but less people would find out if it was the League rather than firemen. Besides, being rescued by the JLA was hardly humiliating for a member.

"League. Please." Clark groaned.

"Okay." Conner switched on a comm. unit. "Superboy to Watchtower. Superman and Flash have – Oh. Okay. Um, sure thing, Batman." He hung up and gave a sheepish smile. "Batman says not to call the League."

"And since when do you always follow his orders?" Flash yelped. "Come on, how many times has the team hacked into League systems this _month_?"

"We follow Batman's orders when we know what he does if you don't." Wally grinned.

Well… they had a point there.

"So, do we call the Fire Department yet?" Lois asked with a grin.

"Do you have to?" Barry knew he was whining, and he knew that was not acceptable behaviour for a seventeen year old, nor was it acceptable for a super-hero, but – well, being caught up here wasn't either.

"Well, we can wait until the next super villain decides to attack either Metropolis or Central and _then_ call the Fire Department." Wally gave him a look. "Oh, but I'm _sure_ that we could handle whoever it is."

Both Clark and Barry hung their heads in unison. "Okay." Barry muttered. "Call them."

Conner was the only one who heard them. Still, he was perfectly capable of picking up a phone and dialling emergency services.

"Part Four… here we come." The Scarlet Speedster groaned.

_**X**_

Two firemen got out of the truck.

"Alright. Now what do we have here…" The female one began. "Wait. You're Superboy and Flashboy."

"_Kid Flash!_"

"Okay." The fireman shook his head. "What are you doing in Metropolis?"

Wally just grinned.

The firewoman walked around. "Didn't call Superman?"

"I doubt it would have made much of a difference." Lois said with a smirk.

"Why?" The fireman blinked. "Aren't you the girl always falling out of everything for Superman to catch you?"

Lois growled and gave him a glare that made him take a few steps back.

"So Superman can't get them down?" The firewoman asked, deciding to change the subject.

"No, Superman cannot get them down, because Superman is currently tied up with kryptonite on a giant flag pole." Clark snapped.

Down below, the two adult's eyes widened.

"Flash is annoyed that Superman is speaking in third person."

"Shut up."

"Wait, are they saying that…" The firewoman began.

"They ticked off Batman. A lot." Conner explained with a shrug.

"Okay." The woman looked at the man. "You want to take the ladder or the controls?"

"Ladder."

"Fanboy." The woman coughed into her hand as her partner crawled up the ladder. With a sigh, the brunette began to press the controls, moving the ladder up to the top of the flag pole.

When he reached the top, the fireman found that the two teenagers – well, if they _weren't_ Flash and Superman, they looked pretty darn close.

They also looked absolutely humiliated.

The fireman came up halfway in between the two heroes tied back to back. "So, Batman did this?" He asked.

"Yep." Superman sighed, dejected.

"…Why?"

"Because they're idiots." Wally called up.

"Hey!" Barry protested.

"In what way, shape or form is painting the Bat-Mobile pink smart?"

The fireman stared at them. "You painted the Bat-Mobile pink?"

"Technically, we painted it purple." Barry admitted, flushing. "The Bat-Suit was pink."

"…Again, why?"

Both flushed.

"They're idiots. I just said that." The nine year old speedster pointed out from the ground.

"That's probably the best explanation." Flash groaned. "Can you get us down? Please?"

"Um… sure." The fireman frowned, looking at the bonds. "What's it made of?"

"Lead with Kryptonite inside." Superman admitted.

"…Batman has this much Kryptonite?"

"Well, there's a green glowing rock inside this that makes me feel very sick when I bend the lead." Superman gave him a look. "I'm going with yes, it's Kryptonite."

"Okay." The fireman said with a reassuring smile. Superman wasn't the first teen he'd met who'd been a little irritated with the situation he found himself in – although the situation itself was unexpected. "I'll get the bolt cutters, shall I?" He suggested.

"No, Supey can break the bonds. He'll just fall if he does."

Superman gave Flash as much as a glower as he could, considering they were strapped back-to-back on a pole.

"Oh. Um… can you, then?" The fireman paused. "It's just, using the bolt cutters aren't going to make the kryptonite not there… are they?"

Superman sighed. "No." He admitted, tensing. "I'll break them on three, then."

"Okay. One. Two. Three."

The pipes shattered, revealing just a hint of green.

Clark moaned, dropping. The fireman's hand shot out, catching him by the black t-shirt with one hand and grabbing Barry's arm with the other.

Down below, Conner turned pale, collapsing against Wally. The nine-year old struggled under his friend's weight but kept him steady.

Up above, Flash grinned at the fireman. "Thanks." He commented lightly, taking Superman by the arm. In a split second the two of them had shot down the ladder, leaving the fireman standing up there, bemused.

They didn't stop, just vanished in a blur of red and black. After a moment Lois managed to pick out a flying teenager in the air.

"They're not coming back, are they?" The firewoman asked.

"Nup." Wally agreed. "Thanks for your help." He flashed them a winning smile.

"Um… it's our job." The fireman said modestly. "We'd better go."

"Okay." Lois agreed as the two got into the fire-truck and left.

She glanced at Kid Flash, still struggling to support Superboy. "You need a lift? At least until we get out of range of the Kryptonite?" She jerked a thumb at her car.

"Be nice." Kid Flash said.

The dark haired girl grinned, grabbing Superman's clone by the arm. The seventeen year old girl carried the ten/one year/s old Kryptonian into the car, Kid Flash darting into the front seat.

"Shotgun!"

"Cute." Lois smirked, getting into the car. "So, gonna tell me what you were doing here in the first place?" She asked as she shifted the gears, driving off.

"Robin told us to." Wally said, Conner beginning to stir. "He said that we wouldn't regret it."

"Kay." Lois drove out of the forest.

"What about you?"

"I got an 'anonymous tip' – um, you know what that means?"

"I'm not stupid. Duh."

"Course you're not. Keep forgetting you're a junior hero." Lois smirked slightly. "Anyway, someone called me and told me there was a story there."

"And you automatically go off just because some stranger called you? No wonder Superman's always having to rescue you."

"Hey!" Lois gave the kid a playful smile.

"Kidding." Kid Flash grinned at her sunnily. "So, you're an… intern, thingie, right?"

"Right. I'm interning at the Daily Planet… and I also run the school newspaper."

"Cool."

"So, you kids going to tell the entire Justice League about what just happened?" Lois asked.

"We're not." Superboy said with a slight smile. He jerked a thumb out the window. "They are."

Lois smirked when she saw a shadow of a cape vanish.

_**X**_

"And, for our next story," The journalist said as the Kent family watched the news while having dinner. "Flash and Superman were rescued earlier today by the fire-department."

Clark's jaw fell open as a video began to play. The sound was cut off on part where they were talking up there, but the conversations with those on the ground was perfectly legible.

"Clark?" John Kent looked at Clark. "Are you okay?"

Clark slowly nodded slowly, feeling a little pale. "Part five." He whispered under his breath.

John glanced at the TV. "Is this _real_?"

Clark reluctantly nodded.

"What were you doing that you needed to be rescued by the fire-department?" Martha asked blankly, watching as on TV the fireman climbed the ladder to the two struggling heroes.

"We ticked off Batman, all right?" Clark muttered, sliding down his chair.

"And he tied you on a pole?" Martha asked.

Clark nodded, turning red. "To be honest, we probably got away easy all things considered." He muttered.

"How did he-" John began.

"I don't know. And I've stopped asking. Bats can do pretty much anything he wants." Clark muttered. "You know once he managed to fly out a window?"

"Come again?" Martha blinked.

"He made a hang-glider that exploded out when he jumped through when he knew he'd need a quick escape on that one mission. It was destroyed, but chances are he's made another just in case he ever needs it again."

"Clark. You're avoiding the subject." John looked at his adoptive son.

"That I am. Can I keep avoiding the subject? Please?" Clark asked. "We wanted Bats to act his age for once, and didn't realise that a prank from the Batman would not be typical. Can I please not talk about it?"

His parents glanced at each other and then nodded at their alien son. "Sure." Martha agreed with a smile.

John nodded, turning back to his dinner. "But you're going to have to explain this to a lot of people, you know."

"…I know."

"And we're going to want an explanation eventually."

Sigh. "I know."

_**X**_

"Of course he had a camera there." Barry groaned, slumping his head.

"Why wouldn't he?" Wally grinned, appearing next to his cousin. "He's Batman."

"I am well aware of that fact, thank you very much." The blonde teenager winced.

"You weren't when you decided to paint the Bat-Cave. Or booby-trap his school bag. Or dump gloop on him when he was talking to Gordon."

"How did you-"

"Robin told me." Wally grinned. "You know you're getting off lightly."

"Probably." Barry sighed in exasperation.

"By now it's probably all around the League."

"Don't you have to go to the Cave for training or something?" Barry gave him a look.

Wally grinned. "Can't get rid of me that easily."

"Shut up." Barry muttered.

"Jay and Jane got copies emailed to them, too."

"Shut _up._"

"Oh, and Iris, too."

"What bit about 'shut up' don't you understand?" The blonde hero gave his cousin a glare.

"The entire team saw it. And we saw a clip of it in school."

"Shut – wait, _What?_"

"Mmm-hmm. It was really funny."

"Aren't you worried you'll get some of the splashback?" Barry glowered.

Wally smirked. "I'm in the video too, though. And I'm laughing at you."

"I hate you." Barry muttered, folding his arms.

"No you don't." Wally grinned, hugging his cousin.

"Fine. You're right, I don't." Barry said, ruffling Wally's red hair. "But you are an annoying brat, you know."

"Only when I want to be."

"True." Barry sighed with a fond grin. "And you want to be right now, don't you?"

"Yep!"

"How about this? If you _stop_ being an annoying brat, we can go out for ice-cream."

"Okay!"

_**X**_

"Well, we managed to get the Bat-Cave back to normal." Robin stretched, putting away the tin of paint remover. "And the Bat-Mobile. And the Bat-Suit."

"Yeah."

"Pity, though. We really do need more colour around here."

Batman gave him a look. "You are _not_ agreeing with them."

"Just a little." Robin put his fingers about a centimetre apart to emphasise how little it was.

"You already dress in red."

"_And_ black. This place is really dark."

"It's supposed to be. I'm the Dark Knight, remember?" Batman said, a smile twitching his lips.

The seven year old grinned at him. "Yeah, but you did just pull off one of the most spectacular pranks _ever_."

"That wasn't a prank. That was retaliation…"

"In form of a prank." Robin grinned cheekily. "Admit it. They were trying to make you act like a kid, and you did it."

"It was _retaliation_."

"It was awesome." Robin grinned. "And admit it. You had fun, didn't you?"

Bruce couldn't lie to his brother. "Maybe a little."

"Mmm-hmm. So they managed to make you act like a teenager, and you embarrassed them totally. Everybody wins!"

Batman smirked. "Cute logic."

"But they're not going to be doing anything like that again, are they?"

"Somehow, I truly doubt it."

* * *

**So… reviews, anyone?**


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